Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Winter Meetings, or Jumping Out of a Plane Without Knowing If You Have a Parachute or Not

It’s kind of fitting that the Winter Meetings are in Orlando this year, because I have a life experience that kind of relates to this. I last went to Disney World in 2004. I was twenty years old, it was just me and my best friend, and for the most part, it was a very enjoyable vacation. One thing that I did not enjoy, however, was the Aerosmith roller coaster. Now, I’m not necessarily a wuss when it comes to roller coasters and thrill rides (Supposedly the most intense ride at Disney World is Mission Space and I loved that, cheesy storyline aside), and I don’t get motion sick at all, but I don’t like really big roller coasters and I really don’t like going upside down (It’s not necessarily a fear thing; I just find the sensation to be unpleasant). I knew full well that the Aerosmith roller coaster does go upside down, but through sheer stubbornness I insisted on riding it anyways just so I could say that I had (Also, my other best friend is a big Aerosmith fan and I wanted to make him jealous; hey, I never said my reasons were entirely mature). I can’t really say I’m glad for having done it, since I didn’t really “prove” anything (nor can I say I regret doing it), and I definitely can’t say it changed my outlook on those types of roller coasters, because I hated the ride just as much as I thought I would. Why am I telling you all this? Because right now I feel almost the same way I did while I was standing in line for that ride. There’s just such a potential for undesirable things to happen over the next four days that I can’t help but be uneasy. Now, if you read my offseason preview (and you should have), you’ll already know my take on all the different facets of the Tigers. Those haven’t changed, so I’m not going to rehash them here.

Other Tiger fans will give you a veritable grocery list of players they want signed or acquired at the Winter Meetings, consisting of a bunch of big bats, about ten starting pitchers, a few relievers, maybe a couple catchers, two shortstops, and a partridge in a pear tree. That’s not going to happen on this site. I have one, and only one request, and that is Magglio Ordoñez. I believe my request is perfectly reasonable and that I am not asking for too much. I won’t say no to Jayson Werth if it comes down to that, though I prefer Maggs. I also won’t say no to a lefty reliever, but honestly, once the Tigers get that one big bat (be it Magglio or Werth), I think they’ll be good to go. I really do. And I’ve written enough stories, drawn enough pictures, and edited enough videos to know that if you start to try to “fix” little tiny flaws and pick at stuff to try to make something good into something perfect, usually you just screw it up. The Tigers made that mistake three years ago. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Still, I can’t shake this awful feeling that my words will not be heeded. After all, it seems like the Tigers just can’t help but make their presence known for the entirety of the Winter Meetings and have to be involved in some huge megadeal. I’m starting to think it’s some sort of psychological complex (Plus, you never know when Mr. Ilitch will take a liking to a player). I hope, for all our sakes, that I am wrong. Either way, it’s going to be one roller coaster of a week. Please make sure your safety bars are in place and that all loose objects are secured.

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