Saturday, December 19, 2009

Fun with the 2009 Holiday Catalog

I get the feeling it’s starting to become an annual tradition for me to receive the Holiday Catalog. I shared my thoughts on last year’s edition at my old site. I meant to get this out earlier, but hey, if you’re the stereotyped male who waits until the last minute, consider this a guide (and I’m sure they have some sort of exorbitantly expensive shipping that’ll guarantee delivery by Christmas). Now, t-shirts, jerseys, and hats make wonderful gifts for the baseball fans in your life, and that’s probably the way to go, but doing a blog post on those would be downright boring. So I’ve decided to focus on the quirkier items in the catalog. I’ve tried to display the Tigers version of the item as they are available (If there is no Tigers version, I’ve just gone with the team that was in the catalog). When I first saw these in the catalog, I thought they were candles, but they’re not. Instead, they are salt and pepper shakers. Perfect if you need more salt on your corn chips (see the background). And I’m sure they’d make your dinner parties even classier.

Perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones who has come through these troubled economic times unscathed. If that’s the case, you might want to plunk down $2249.99 on this beautiful pool table (of course, you’ll end up paying much more than that after purchasing the requisite accessories such as cue sticks, an overhead lamp, bar stools, etc). It should be noted, however, that I love playing pool and if one of you wants to buy me this, I’ll accept it gratefully.
This is described in the catalog as a “Comfy Throw,” but I think we all know it better as a Snuggie. Apparently, Major League Baseball and Snuggie must not have agreed on licensing terms, so the knock-off “Comfy Throw” swooped in and won out. Now you can take “Cult of Clete” to a whole new level.

Back in early November, Ian over at Bless You Boys did a post on gifts you shouldn’t give Tigers fans. He included such items as bobbleheads of Gary Sheffield and Edgar Renteria. This plaque should have been in that post. Because it’s $89.99. Nobody is going to buy this.
Obviously, this is a wall clock (there is also a desk clock version). But it’s really hard to get a clock to look like a baseball scoreboard. Stuff just doesn’t fit (for instance, there’s no such thing as the 69th inning). It looks like someone just took a football or basketball clock and tried to adapt it to baseball.

Since we’ve had to bid farewell to the creepy Polanco photoshopped mousepad, this becomes the new “creepy” item in the catalog. WHY would you put a face on a tree? If you buy this, I hope you don’t have small children because they’ll be having nightmares about the tree monster. By the way, I just arbitrarily chose the Yankee tree. The tree in the catalog did indeed sport the Olde English D, but the image was not available online, for some reason.

Well, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!

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